it's been 7 years!

2,555 days without seeing you, sharing exciting news with you or full on embracing in your big bear hug!

3,679,200 minutes since I have heard your voice or laughed at your corny jokes.

 

one of the last things I said to you was "I don't think I can live without you"

I meant that! it was an unbearable, unimaginable pain that emerged from my body when I even thought about you not being near.

 

now 7 years has passed.

I've gotten married

moved more times then I would prefer to recall

had your first granddaughter

and grown into a woman I would like to think you are so very proud of!

 

I've become a mother, a parent, that I know you raised me to be!

 

now that I sit here 7 years later, it's hard to imagine how I've managed to do all of the above without you here. Without you physically holding my hand. Without me physically seeing you. Or without you encouraging me along the way.

it's funny how your heart tells you you can't do something but then your body does something completely different.

 

I've gone to live on. Forced to do it without your physical presence.

BUT not a moment in my life have I not carried you with me every step of the way!

 

I know that's the grandest realization of this whole tragic experience. You may not be here in mortal form but I am so fortunate enough to be able to carry your spirit in my heart for the rest of my existence. God chose me for you! And I will always be grateful for that!

 

Years have passed and they will continue to do so...but I live to think that while I am still breathing you will continue to live on, through me, because you had my heart from the very beginning!