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Yesterday was a very hard, sad day for the Marsh family. Yesterday our nurse practitioner got to tell us "I told you so" -figuratively speaking, not literally-. Yesterday marks the end of our pregnancy with our first little baby.

It was defiantly a HARD pill to swallow when the doctor entered the room and had to break the news to us and it felt as if my heart was actually breaking into thousands of tiny little pieces. I felt as if it were my fault, that I should have or could have done something different. At that moment I felt guilty because my husband had, in fact, lost his baby too. At that moment I wondered how I was very going to break the news to our families. At that very moment  I couldn't breathe. BUT today I am at peace. Today I have decided not to let this trial in our life compromise my relationship with the Lord.

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11


Because the truth is, I believe within the depths of my soul that God has a plan for G and I. I know FOR A FACT that one day we will be proud parents to a bouncing baby boy (or girl).

I never claim to be some fun loving, throw care to the wind, just take one day at a time kinda girl. In fact, I am the COMPLETE opposite. Most of the time I can't relax enough in most situation to "just have fun" -although I'd love to be able to-, I worry way too much just to say "Oh, who the hell cares" about any situation big or small and I am the biggest planner, checklist kinda, O.M.G is everything perfect kinda girl. YES, I admit all of these things. **disclaimer- this does NOT make me any less fun to be around or any less loveable, just ask my mommy :) -

Now, with this being said, it is NEVER A GOOD IDEA to tell me news that you don't even have the dang answers to. PLEASE for the love of Pete keep you opinions to yourself.

For example. The hubs and I go to the doctor for a routine check up on our growing mini marsh -it is normal (so they tell me) to go in once a week until a heartbeat is identified- and from the sonogram everything looks fine. Every week prior to this last visit everyone, including my actual doctor, tells me everything looks normal. But NO, this week my doctor happens to be on vacation -must be nice- so I get a nurse practitioner who, don't get me wrong, is by all counts the sweetest gal one could ask for and to the best of my knowledge is well trained with lots of experience. BUT....-and I stress this- she entered our little patient room with the most concerned look on her face -may I please add that I was already pissed because they took us out of the waiting room just to sit us in the patient room and wait for another 30 freakin' minutes- so when she finally came b-boppin in there with this cockamamie reason of why she was worried, when everything else proves to be fine, just slightly pisses me off!!!! I mean in the midst of their (they, meaning doctors and nurses) hectic day do they forget that what they do and say effects peoples lives!! REAL PEOPLE!!!! Does the medical field forget how to be compassionate towards their patients??? Now this is not directed to ALL medically trained people, because I have encountered some who make me feel like my feelings matter and that they actually care. But man, to me, when it comes to carrying child, most women dont take news, especially alarming news, very well!!!! And this goes DOUBLE, if not TRIPLE, for me the WORRY WART OF THE CENTURY.

After wiping all of my mascara off my face -who woulda thunk I needed waterproof- I pranced my happy butt down to the blood lab to get a clearer view of what is going on. Maybe this will calm my nurse's fears. Maybe this will reassure her that the Marsh family will most defiantly be welcoming a bouncing baby boy (or girl) into this world around the 23rd November!!! Maybe this will allow her to come into our next appointment with a smile on her face and an apology to boot!!! But most of all maybe this will show her that sometimes nature works in mysterious ways and God, in fact, has his own set of rules and plans for each and everyone of us. And I feel in my hear this is our gift from God, that this is his plan for the Marsh family right now. I will try and ignore the negative thoughts this nurse has put in my head and I will focus on the positive. I will focus on the fact that this situation -like all- is in the Lords hands and it is not something I need to worry with or something I can ultimately change. -if you know me or paid close attention to the beginning of this blog you know this will be hard for me to do, so all prayers are welcomed, THANK YOU-


Thanks for listening to me vent!! Hope all of you have a fabulous Hump Day!!

Day 20.... Love is Jesus Christ!

I'll share with you a paragraph from the "Love Dare" book because I cant explain it any better than they did :)

Everything you've failed at and haven't been able to do, every minute you've wasted trying to fix things your own way- all of it can be forgiven and made right by putting your life into the hands of the one who first gave it to you. 

As many times as you sin or you drift away from your spiritual ways, is as many times as our God will forgive you -this is what I took away from this chapter. Isn't that amazing? I love knowing that I have a forgiving God, because he knows I am SO FAR from perfect and I know I will continue to make mistakes but from those mistakes I will learn. So I will continue to pray. I will pray hard, for everything because I honestly know that I need his help with EVERYTHING, big or small, I need his help. And he will never fail me and that, my friends, makes me a believer all over again each and every time!!!


I've learned that if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is lord and that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. Over the last several months I have believed this and confessed this. And in doing so I know that God will allow me to love in ways I never knew I could.

God was willing to love us even when we didn't deserve it. He loves us with all of our imperfections, flaws and even when you are exactly on the great spiritual path. HE STILL LOVES US!!!

This is the same kind of love we are given to show to our spouse when we except God as our savior. We are given the ability to love someone with all their imperfections and flaws. We are able to forgive even if its not deserved!!! We are taught a whole new way to love! And to me, this is the greatest gift I've been given.  
THANK YOU LORD


DAY 21....

Love is satisfied in God....

Day 19... What previous dares seemed impossible? Have you realized your need for God to change your heart and give you the ability to love?

Have a blessed and wonderful weekend!!!

Day 16.... Pray for your spouse!

Doesn't everyone?? Now don't let me lie to you, I haven't always lived my life for the one who truly matters (GOD) but here in the last several months I have decided I am a child of God and that I want more than anything to live for him. Live to worship him, to learn more about him, to teach my someday (soon) children about him... I decided that I am and want to be a follower of Christ!!

In doing this I have become closer to my husband. I have learned - trying to anyways- to let God lead my life. I so much want to control every single little or BIG thing in my life. I want to live my life for God!! And as of now, I have learned that in doing and learning all these things I am a much happier, more excited, less depressed person than I once was!!!


Now lets get to this dare!!!
G and I were suppose to pray for three specific areas that we would like God to work in our spouse's life and in our marriage.

From me, for Greg....

1.  
I prayed that God would allow G to continue to grow and prosper in his work. I asked God to allow the "head honchos" to see all the good he has done. I prayed that God would allow G to feel proud of of the improvements he has made and the relationships he has built.

2.
I asked God to continue to open G's heart to him. To allow G to have a better understanding of who Christ is. (I am beginning to see the difference)

My 3rd prayer I am going to keep to myself because I'm not quite ready to share with the world... hehe... but keep reading, I might just surprise you!!!

From G, To ME....

1.
G prayed for my patience!!! -yes I am stilling learning this one!!!

2.
Love promotes intimacy.....

Determine to guard your mate's secrets (unless they are dangerous to them or to you) and pray for them. Talk with your spouse, and resolve to demonstrate love in spite of these issues. Really listen to them when they share personal thoughts and struggles with you. Make them feel safe. 

Have a happy Thursday!!! 

We grow up with our parents telling us "treat others how you wish to be treated". I have always thought I truly understood this beautiful quote, but like a ton of bricks it hit me that I haven't been fully expressing the true meaning of this. TREAT OTHERS HOW YOU WISH TO BE TREATED.... what does that really mean??

-Do you really pray for the people you say your going to pray for??... Don't you only hope that when people say they are praying for you, that they really do??
-Would you really give the shirt off your back to someone really in need of it??....Don't you hope that when your in need someone would lend you theirs?
-Do you give you honest opinion when its asked for??... Don't you hope that when you ask of others they are truly honest?? 
-Do you try to appreciate others honesty as you hope they would appreciate yours?
-Do you value your friendships to the up MOST as you hope they value yours??
-Do you listen when others speak the way you hope they listen to you?

-Do you lend a smile to those who seem down throughout the day??...Wouldn't it be uplifting if everyone smiled at you when you felt down???

I believe its the little things that we can do. If we take the time to really treat the WORLD, family, friends, husbands, wives, children as we wish to be treated, don't you think we would be a step ahead. I believe we would come a long way if we practiced everything we preached. If we truly treated people how we longed to be treated. 

Just a thought!!


 Have a blessed afternoon and a safe drive home for those who had to get out in this mess!!!