.

I am two weeks in to my HEALTHY life transformation. 

Since the arrival of my first Shakeology package, I have stayed consistent with my new morning ritual. 

One chocolate shake with maybe a few hard boiled eggs, or sometimes I treat myself to a bowl of low-carb oatmeal. Nonetheless, ALWAYS Shakeology. 

HOLY MOLY!!! I feel it, people!! I feel the difference in starting my day with ACTUAL nutrition!

I have less "bad" cravings throughout the day, more energy, and REGULARITY (TMI, I know, but hey, that is always important!)

**I still need to work on getting my recommended amount of water intake in check**

I have to say that there is nothing more empowering than to see your mindset, your strength, and your own willpower play out the way you always wanted.

 **Keep in mind as you read along through my journey, that these small victories are HUGE to me! I have lived a life of being a small, petite person. I have never had a full on struggle with weight, nor have I experience any major health issues. However, as I get older, my energy levels, and my firmness have faded. I haven't felt "great" in a long time, and have had medical testings several times and all is normal, except, I haven't been taking care of ME for a long time. **

Moving on to MY REASON.....

SHE ^ is MY reason!!! 

I want to be a healthy fit mom, a mom that my Daughter looks up to. A mom that has endless energy to play and run! I do not want her to look back on her childhood and remember Mommy watching her play from the couch. I want to take her places, WITH actual enjoyment because I'm not focused on how TIRED I am. 

HE ^ is my reason!

I want to be a wife that doesn't shy away from sexy time in broad daylight! I want to see the world (or our own town), without being winded, or looking for an excuse to nap :) I want to be an example for him to be healthy, too. I want to grow old in my best shape, so we can experience retirement without health hindrances from my own doing. 

ME is my reason!

 I want to look in the mirror and LOVE what I see, hands down. 

I am enough! I want to become a better me for ME!
I want a life of adventure, good deep belly laughs, and self admiration for my own personal strengths and achievements.

Feed not your loneliness
On empty days,
But fill each waking hour
In useful ways,

Reach out your hand
In comfort and in cheer
And I in turn will comfort you
And hold you near;

And never, never
Be afraid to die
For I am waiting for you in the sky!

My sweet friend, Stephanie, inclosed this poem for me in the cutest locket the first week of losing my Daddy.-I couldn't have asked for a better friend :)

I must have read it over a dozen times, but didn't really absorb the meaning and truth in these simple words. Until NOW!!

This little locket hangs from the mirror in my car and every so often I'll open it when my heart starts to ache for my dad and read this sweet sweet poem and at that moment I remember ...

I know in my heart that my dad would want me to carry on. 

I know that he would never want me to live with any sadness! 
I know that he would want me to remember ALL the great times we had, ALL the memories we made, and ALL the silliness we shared. 

I know that I carry him in my heart!

I know that Dad will forever and ALWAYS live on through my brother and I.

I know that he would want me to share stories of him with his future grandchildren.

AND most importantly, I know that he would never want me to meet him in heaven before my time! 

I know that my brother and I couldn't have hand crafted a better Daddy if we had tried!

I am blessed!

I am the woman I am today because of the love my dad bestowed upon me! 

I love deeper and more intensely because of him! 

I may even have a quick temper and tend to over analyze because of him!!! 

But I am ME! And I have him to thank!

I will always and forever miss him! And on occasion when I breakdown with sadness, I know that in my shadow, in the breeze or even in the sunlight shining through the window, he will be there! He will comfort me and forever be with me.

I am not afraid! Because I know he will be there, waiting for me!!!

Happy Father's Day!!

 One afternoon while visiting my brother and his wife, we decided to grab a bite to eat. It happened to be one of my ALL TIME favorite fast food joints so at the time I was one HAPPY girl. I ordered my -add THREE pounds to my hips- fried chicken finger basket, seasoned fries and side of toast -lunch of champs, right?!?- then grabbed my drink and stood to the side while the rest of the gang decided what they wanted. So while waiting patiently and looking at all the memorabilia scattered along the walls, I heard this faint voice ask "What number do you use?" At first I ignored it because, I thought, surely she wasn't talking to me. A few seconds passed and I turned and made eye contact with our cashier and while looking straight at me she asked again "What number do you use?" 

She IS talking to ME and I know in that very moment I looked at her as if she had four heads, because quite frankly I was SO confused. 

"I'm sorry?" I asked. 

"What number do you use?" she repeated.

"What do you mean, what number do I use?" 

At this point I was very confused!!! Was she talking about my ticket number?? Or did she have me confused with someone else? 

 "I have been trying to get your color for months and I can't seem to find the right number. I was wondering what number you used." she answered.

Now by this time I was slightly cranky because I was STARVING - if you know me at all, you know don't mess with me when I haven't eaten- and now I have this girl asking about my "NUMBER"?!?!? 

I quickly wanted to swirl my head while snapping my fingers and shouting OH NO YOU DI'INT!!!

But I hid my inner Queen Latifah and calmly answered...."Oh sweet girl, this color doesn't come from a bottle. The good Lord himself blessed me with this."

She then laughed and we chatted a little about how she loved it and wished she could find the perfect blend of these "numbers." -question: are hair dyes numbered?? Am I really that dumb or have I been hiding under a rock??? The fam and I sat down, enjoyed our lunch and that was that.

I am flattered that people notice my hair and try to find the same color -probably isn't possible- and if I am well nourished before being approach and asked if this is my NATURAL color, I usually blush a little and politely answer "Why yes it is" but this sweet girl just caught me in a bad moment. Plus this just happened to be the MOST unique way of asking if its real or not, so I reckin' it just caught me off guard.

Note to self .....eat ALL the time!!!! 

**WARNING- this is me venting!!!! So if you don't want to hear me yell, turn back NOW**

You know how when your looking for the perfect top for your best friends wedding?? Or that perfect shade of grey paint for you revamped master bedroom?!?!?

Well, for the past 8 MONTHS I have been waiting on that perfect PINK line!!!

For 8 MONTHS the hubs and I have been trying for that perfect little miracle from God. 

For 8 MONTHS I have been waiting patiently!!!!!

I AM NOT A PATIENT PERSON!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And to make matters worse, when you want something so very BADLY, it never fails that everyone else around you is sharing in the JOY you WISH you could!!!!

Seriously!!!! Every time I open facebook I see a new friend announcing their pregnancy!!!

And while I am TRULY happy for that person, a little piece of me is sad and JEALOUS!!! WHY NOT ME!!!!! WHEN IS IT GOING TO BE MY TURN!!!! 

I know these are awful thoughts and I should keep them to myself BUT I literally just might explode!!!!!

What am I doing WRONG!!!! 

Most people tell me to be patient and it will come! 

Stop trying and you'll be surprised when you least expect it!!!

This is like telling a food addict NOT to eat.

An alcoholic NOT to go into a BAR!!

A smoker NOT to smoke!!!

I CAN'T NOT THINK ABOUT IT!!!!!!!

Dear Lord, 

Give me strength! Give me patience!

Thank you for listening!!! That is all :)

 Day 28 talks about being aware, with or WITHOUT being told, of our spouse's needs. To be so completely in-tune with your spouse that you share their worries, their happiness, and their grief. 

Sometimes we are so into what we NEED or WANT that we tend to completely forget or neglect the needs of the ones we love. 

"For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat; I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink; I was a stranger and you invited me in; naked and you clothed me; I was sick and you visited me; I was in prison and you came to me -Matthew 25:35-36

This chapter teaches me that LOVE sacrifices to make sure the needs of our spouse are met. It teaches me that to love someone before myself is the greatest gift of all! 

So yesterday after my hunnie work his little tush off at work he came straight home to work on our deck. I continued working on my guest bedroom project and half way through it dawned on me that G might need a nice refreshing beverage :) When I took him his drink I could tell everything was wearing on him. He was proud of what he accomplished but he just looked like he could of used some help! So I pushed up my sleeves and we got to work!!! And much to my surprise -G was equally surprised-I was a HUGE help. I even put my two cents in and it WORKED!!!!!! We made a GREAT TEAM!!!!

I felt good when we finished and G even seemed a little less stressed!! WOW, if this is how he reacts to my SMALL contribution to the deck work, I can only imagine how our lives would change if I did it more often!

Time for DAY 29...

 Before you see your spouse again today, pray for them by name and for their needs. Whether it comes easy for you or not, say "I love you," then express love to them in some tangible way. Go to God in prayer again, thanking him for giving you the privilege of loving this one special person-- unconditionally, the way he loves both of you!!  

Today I'm linking up with Leigh Ashley

in her Wee bit Wednesdays!!!!

Plus I know you are all DYING to know more about lil' ol'  ME!!!

-Stairs for this girl!!!!-

(currently singing the song out loud in my office...my co-workers probably think im CRAAZZYY!)

 I remember in Junior High and High School having to be best friends with everyone! I had to be invited to all the get togethers/parties or my feeling would be hurt and I would instantly ask myself "why don't they like me" or " why wasn't I included?." But I have found in getting older and MATURING that its not about being the most popular or having TONS and TONS of friends. In fact, it isn't the quantity of friends at all but the QUALITY of the friendship. 

 True friends are there to pick you up when you have fallen. To give you their HONEST opinion, even if it hurts or you would rather not hear it. True friends are the ones who make you laugh when you feel like crying and the one who lends an hear when all you need is to talk. True friendship passes NO judgement! 

True friendship is the kind of bond that no matter where life takes you as we get older you can always pick up where you left off. The kind of friendship that even if you haven't talked in weeks/months, when you do it feels like you haven't missed a beat! 

I value the friendships that you can be yourself, you can be silly or down right outrageous and still know they love you! You can have your falling outs and somehow you find a way to work it out and in the end you still love each other just as much!!! 

I have also learned that friendship doesn't always have to come in a form of a stranger at school or work but in fact it sometimes comes in the form of a husband, mother, sister, brother, in-laws or cousins!




Since mine and Greg's BIG little disappointment I have found a new appreciation for my friendships. Before this, I knew that I had a hand full of very dear friends BUT after all of this I have found a new love and appreciation for those wonderful women/men! They have truly gone above and beyond to make me feel loved and have absolutely made this time in our lives a little easier! 


To these friends of mine, I couldn't have made it through this without you! I love you all so dearly and I want to thank you for helping the Marsh family stay so strong!

Day 25....Today choose to forgive your spouse...

Sorry to report folks, but my sweet hubby hasn't done anything that I need to forgive him for.

 Now don't get me wrong, he is by NO means perfect and we have had our fair share of disagreements BUT  nothing so big that I couldn't shrug off instantly! 

But here's my experience with forgiveness!!

When I think about the times when I have been so hurt that I thought to myself  "I'll never talk to them again" or "they have to apologize first before I'll forgive them." And I remember the pain and sadness I carried around until something was resolved! I remember being mean  to anyone who crossed my path just because of the bitterness I carried for that person/s. It honestly felt as if I were captured within my own body by this hatred I CHOSE to have for the person who hurt me. Suddenly it dawned on me that the only person I was hurting in that process was ME!! My anger didn't calm the storm between them and I. It actually did the complete opposite! It made me, myself and I miserable!

But the second I came to my senses and truly forgave them in my heart, I released so much weight and tension that I was carrying around on my shoulders. No, my bond with this person/s may or may not have been rekindled but I felt the peace with the situation just because I made the profound decision to forgive and not hold a grudge.

When we choose not to forgive, whether it is our spouse, a family member or a friend we are only causing harm and unhappiness on ourselves! 

"Never take your own revenge, beloved, but leave room for the wrath of God, for it is written, 'Vengeance in mine, I will repay,' says the Lord"

I have now chosen to ALWAYS forgive no matter the size of the situation because I know that God will tend to them for me!!

Now lets move on to Day 26....

 

Love is responsible.....

Day 24...... Identify the objects of lust from your life and remove them.

I have always thought lust strictly meant lusting after another man/woman when you have already given your heart to someone else. BUT in reading this chapter from the Love Dare, I have found that lust can also be when you lust after a character in a novel or the leading man in your favorite romantic movie!!!

Now, lets be honest, who hasn't watch a movie with some studly man with rippling abs and NOT said "WOW!! he's a hottie tottie!!"

To me if your HUMAN, you have been in this boat before!

I KNOW I AM NOT ALONE!!!!

But, with this being said, I have learned that this too is being lustful! Even though I know that I will never in a million years run away with Mark Wahlberg, I now see that watching his movies with my tounge hanging out is unacceptable to the Lord!

Being lustful can also mean, lusting for more money, a bigger house or better clothes. The Lord has promised us the essentials -food, clothing- (Matthew 6:25-33) so why would we doubt this promise and be lustful of more? 

"His divine power has given us everything we need for a godly life through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness. Through these he has given us his very great and precious promises, so that through them you may participate in the divine nature, having escaped the corruption in the world caused by evil desires."

When we finally come to our senses and open our hearts to the Lord and are grateful for what he has already given us we will find ourselves full on what he provides and we will stop lusting after forbidden treasures.

To me you cant complete this dare in one day! It's an ongoing dare!! DARE to be grateful for what you have, DARE to love your spouse with your whole heart and DARE to follow the LORD!!! 

I dare MYSELF to put my words into action!!!

Moving on to day 25...

Happy Wednesday to you all!!!

I'm pretty sure all of you have heard this song and dance once before BUT not from me so here goes...

Day 23 asked me to let go of addictions or anything hindering my relationship with G.

Luckily G and I don't have any BIG addictions that are hindering our relationship, i.e.gambling or drugs. But what we do have is a great addiction to the modern day entertainment, like....television, FACEBOOK and video games. 

If used correctly or in a healthy amount these things can be enjoyable, like cuddling up on the couch with your hunnie to watch a great movie together.

BUT if your sitting across the room from one another, one playing on FB and the other playing video games, this isn't what I would like to call QUALITY TIME.

Now I am one to admit, while I'm snug-as-a-bug in my Mr.'s arms enjoying a television show/movie, I might be on my phone checking FB!!!!

So...I have decided that when I'm spending quality time with the hubs, that's the ONLY thing I'm going to be doing!!! I mean REALLY, how many times can I check the latest news feed on dang facebook??? And I love my friends who share this internet addiction with me BUT I have to say, the hubs is WAY more important and should be!!!

I'm loving that I couldn't have asked for a more beautiful day!! This weather makes me wish I wasn't stuck inside at work :(

I'm loving this room as inspiration for my NEXT home project.

 

 

I'm loving my soon-to-be new purchase!!! 

I see lots of PICNICS with the hubs in the future -this weekend.

And finally, I'm loving this wonderful man I call my husband!

What are YOU loving today??

 Don't forget to head over to Jamie's blog and link up!!

 Day 22.... Choose today to be committed to your love even if your spouse has lost most interest in receiving it. 

 At the beginning of mine and G's marriage, I had this misconception that marriage was made of lemon drops and worked something like the fairy tales I watched growing up. -FYI...I am a HUGE romantic movie watcher- So when I found out that men -mine in particular- didn't know how to read my mind or didn't know the perfect thing to say at the exact moment I THOUGHT he should, I WAS BLOWN AWAY!!! Which needless to say, caused many disagreements, sometimes hurtful words and a lot of misunderstanding.

As you can probably understand, I had A LOT of growing, praying and motherly advise to listen to. -Who knew I was missing the ONE thing that gave me the understanding of how to truly love-
So in reading this particular chapter in the Love Dare, I have learned that God loves us no matter what we do, no matter how we act. He is always accepting of us.The Lord still remains faithful  to us. This, to me, is how we should love our spouse, faithfully. We should accept our spouse and our spouse's love just as he/she gives it, because the love that each of us express is the mere reflection of the Lord's love shining through.

I have learned to appreciate the way G loves me with all his heart, IN HIS OWN WAY!!! But most of all I have learned that love is no fairy tale and that we choose who we want to share our lives with. And my friends I CHOOSE, forevermore to love my handsome husband, Greg.

So in honor of this lovely dare I simply expressed why I CHOOSE to love my MR.
-He officially named it the Easter egg hut :)-
 
I placed one in his current book. 

  He found the next one on his night stand.

 This one was in his phone clip. 

SURPRISE in his undies :))

He couldn't miss the one with the toothpaste.

In his closet!!

The refrigerator.

 Sneaky, sneaky...in his truck.

 And FINALLY in his work binder!!

It was lots of fun surprising my sweet hunnie and to see hie face each time he found a note was priceless.

Remove anything that is hindering your relationship, and addiction of influence that's stealing your affections and turning your heart away from your spouse. 

I am actually truly excited about today's dare because I for one do not believe in the whole mumbojumbo about having just "one certain" person made just for "me". I believe we honestly CHOOSE who we wish to love and then it is our duty along with the help of the Lord to continue that love "till death do us part."

Leaving you with some inspiring words...