.

DAY 30..... Isolate one area of division in your marriage, look at it as a fresh start and pray about it.

I prayed that God would take the idea of the past away from me. I prayed that he opens my heart fully to my spouse and allows me to continue loving him unconditionally. I prayed that God takes away the what if's and could of beens. I prayed that God takes me under his wing and shows me how to be the best wife I KNOW I CAN BE!! 

WOW, this was a very eye opening chapter for me.

Love brings unity. 

In this chapter, they talk about how marriage is much like the love that God has for the church. He has chosen to let us experience an aspect of his love through marriage. Our marriage spiritually brings us together into "one flesh." 

What if husbands devoted themselves to loving, honoring, and serving theirs wives in all things? What if the preservation of their oneness with their wives was worth every sacrifice and expression of love they could make? 

What if wives made it their mission to do everything in their power to promote togetherness of heart with their husbands? What if every threat to your unity was treated like a poison, a cancer, an enemy to be defeated by love? 

What would your marriage be like if you never considered your oneness to be torn apart? 

 Love your spouse who is as much a part of your body as you are. Serve this one whose needs cannot be separated from your own. Honor this one who, when raised up upon the pedestal of your love, raises you up too in the eyes of God, all at the same time.

DAY 31.....

 Day 31....asked if we had a "leaving" issue we haven't confronted? I was suppose to confess this to the husband and vow to work on it for the sake of my oneness with my spouse. 

Well, I did just that! Because, I in fact, have a "leaving" issue that I haven't dealt with. Now seeing as how the husband is a smart man, he knows of this issue. I haven't ever sat down with him to discuss it or to openly admit it, but he is very aware of it!

You see, I am very much a daddy's girl. Like I have mention before in previous posts, my dad was my world and he did nothing wrong in my eyes. In fact he did everything PERFECT!!! So when it came to getting married, naturally G took over some of the manly things around the house, in my life. But with this being said, I have a way of comparing these things G does to the way my dad did them and they are VERY much different. Which led to me making G feel like he wasn't doing something right. Making G feel like he was incapable of taking care of his wife the way I thought he should!!!! 

SHAME, SHAME on me!!!!

Through this process I have come to realize that G is not my dad -this is probably a good thing- and he reacts and does things differently than my dad would. Does this make G a bad person or less of a husband or a man? NO!!! Does this mean he doesn't know what he's doing or loves me less?? NO!!!! Does this mean that I should step back and let G be his own person, let him do things his own way, let G become the husband he desires to be??? YES!!! Very much so. I love G and I admire him for the man he is, for the man he wants to become, for the little things he does for me, for us!

Now with all of this being said, -you would think that would be enough- I have one more thing to add to this "leaving" issue. Not only do I tend to compare G to my father BUT instead of TRULY sharing my hopes, dreams, wishes, my excitements or my fears with my MR. I tend to go to my mommy instead. Now this is NOT to say I don't share these things at all with G, but I tend to go into further, stronger details with my mom. For whatever reason I feel as if my mom's reaction, comfort or advice is more detailed than G's. Or mom has a way of better understanding than G will or does. Does this make my choice right?!?! NO!!! Have I given G a chance to understand or to respond or to be there for me, probably not. Should I??? ABSOLUTELY!!! Will I work on this for the sake of our oneness??? MOST DEFINITELY!!!

Needless to say this dare was very eye opening for me! I see now the dependance issue I have on my parents. The fact is that G and I are ONE now! G is suppose to be the one who I allow to lift me up! To kiss my wounds! To make me a better person! I HAVE to rely on my husband! I have to give G the chance to be my knight in shining armor! 

Day 32.....

 Day 32.....In a nut shell, this day was all about S.E.X!!! 

Seeing as how I would like to keep my blog PG 13, I will NOT go into detail of these events :)

SO, moving on.......

Day 33....

Day 29....pray for your spouse before you see them. Express your love then thank God for allowing you to love this person. 

Honestly, I thank God for allowing G to love me all the time! But I never hardly ever thank God for giving me the privilege to love my hubby! 

To be honest it never crossed my mind to thank God for allowing me to love anyone. Because before this journey I never thought, or knew, that the way I love people comes from the Lord. 

Once again, I had an AHA moment! 

I have learned that my ability to love, myself or anyone else, falls short without loving through the Lord.

Consider the following areas where pleasing the Lord should become our goal:

Work: "Do your work heartily, as for the Lord rather than for men" (Colossians 3:23)

Service: "Obey those who areyour masters on earth, not with external service, as those who merely please men, but with sincerity of heart, fearing the Lord" (Colossians 3:22)

Everything: Work hard at "whatever you do....knowing the from the Lord you will receive the reward of the inheritance. It is the Lord Christ whom you serve" (Colossians 3:23-24)

Even marriage: "Wives, be subject to your husbands, as is fitting to the Lord" (Colossians 3:18)

 "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave himself up for her" (Ephesians 5:25).

DAY 30....

 Day 28 talks about being aware, with or WITHOUT being told, of our spouse's needs. To be so completely in-tune with your spouse that you share their worries, their happiness, and their grief. 

Sometimes we are so into what we NEED or WANT that we tend to completely forget or neglect the needs of the ones we love. 

"For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat; I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink; I was a stranger and you invited me in; naked and you clothed me; I was sick and you visited me; I was in prison and you came to me -Matthew 25:35-36

This chapter teaches me that LOVE sacrifices to make sure the needs of our spouse are met. It teaches me that to love someone before myself is the greatest gift of all! 

So yesterday after my hunnie work his little tush off at work he came straight home to work on our deck. I continued working on my guest bedroom project and half way through it dawned on me that G might need a nice refreshing beverage :) When I took him his drink I could tell everything was wearing on him. He was proud of what he accomplished but he just looked like he could of used some help! So I pushed up my sleeves and we got to work!!! And much to my surprise -G was equally surprised-I was a HUGE help. I even put my two cents in and it WORKED!!!!!! We made a GREAT TEAM!!!!

I felt good when we finished and G even seemed a little less stressed!! WOW, if this is how he reacts to my SMALL contribution to the deck work, I can only imagine how our lives would change if I did it more often!

Time for DAY 29...

 Before you see your spouse again today, pray for them by name and for their needs. Whether it comes easy for you or not, say "I love you," then express love to them in some tangible way. Go to God in prayer again, thanking him for giving you the privilege of loving this one special person-- unconditionally, the way he loves both of you!!  

Day 27.... eliminate poison of unrealistic expectations in your home!  

I KNOW that in the beginning of mine and G's marriage one of my WORST attributes was having unrealistic expectations of Gregory. Like I've said before I grew up with this misconception that love was easy and perfect. And men rode around on white stallions saving the day. I just knew that the sweet love notes and hand picked roses lasted forever! And every man knew EXACTLY what women wanted and they ALWAYS delivered.

Well....Then I woke up and matured! I realized that love, nor marriage is easy and it certainly isn't perfect. It's horribly beautiful and wonderfully complicated! And I've realized that men have NO CLUE what we women want at all!!!! -truth be told, most of the time we don't either- And most defiantly have no way of READING OUR MINDS!!!

You see, when I married this wonderful man and he wasn't anything like the fairy tales, or my daddy, I was dumbfounded! In all honesty a lot of our first arguments were based around him not doing something the way I thought he should or the way I grew up watching my daddy do it!  BUT I have learned that in a relationship, in order for it to grow, you have to be an encourager. A relationship will never work if there is always someone discouraging you, telling you your wrong, or never appreciating  the things that you DO do. 

 

Now, I see my stupid ways! I am imperfect as well as my spouse. I see now that G can only be the best he can be with me in his corner encouraging him! 

 

Day 28......

Day 26.... Pray through you areas of wrongdoing. Ask God and your spouse for forgiveness.

When you judge another, you condemn yourself, since you, the judge, do the same things. -Romans 2:1

This chapter was very much an AHA moment for me! 

Love IS RESPONSIBLE!

We ALL want to be RIGHT!!!! We ALL have a tendency of thinking the way we do things or the way we think is better than anyone else. We are very quick to point the finger in fault. And we are slow to recognize when we are wrong! 

Rebuke is more effective for a wise man than a hundred blows on a fool -Proverbs 17:10

Love, in my opinion, would last forever if we weren't so darn busy trying to pass blame or trying to be right all the time! Love understands. Love is patient. Love allows others opinions and concerns to be heard. 

I know in my heart and for my home, it would be a happier and more loving place if G and I took the time to correct our faults and admit when we were wrong! I know that if we did this there would be no room for arguments and WAY more loving time spend with each other. 

Day 27...

Eliminate the poison of unrealistic expectations in your home. Think of one area where your spouse has told you you're expecting too much, and tell them you're sorry for being so hard on them about it. Promise them you'll seek to understand and assure them of you unconditional love.

Day 25....Today choose to forgive your spouse...

Sorry to report folks, but my sweet hubby hasn't done anything that I need to forgive him for.

 Now don't get me wrong, he is by NO means perfect and we have had our fair share of disagreements BUT  nothing so big that I couldn't shrug off instantly! 

But here's my experience with forgiveness!!

When I think about the times when I have been so hurt that I thought to myself  "I'll never talk to them again" or "they have to apologize first before I'll forgive them." And I remember the pain and sadness I carried around until something was resolved! I remember being mean  to anyone who crossed my path just because of the bitterness I carried for that person/s. It honestly felt as if I were captured within my own body by this hatred I CHOSE to have for the person who hurt me. Suddenly it dawned on me that the only person I was hurting in that process was ME!! My anger didn't calm the storm between them and I. It actually did the complete opposite! It made me, myself and I miserable!

But the second I came to my senses and truly forgave them in my heart, I released so much weight and tension that I was carrying around on my shoulders. No, my bond with this person/s may or may not have been rekindled but I felt the peace with the situation just because I made the profound decision to forgive and not hold a grudge.

When we choose not to forgive, whether it is our spouse, a family member or a friend we are only causing harm and unhappiness on ourselves! 

"Never take your own revenge, beloved, but leave room for the wrath of God, for it is written, 'Vengeance in mine, I will repay,' says the Lord"

I have now chosen to ALWAYS forgive no matter the size of the situation because I know that God will tend to them for me!!

Now lets move on to Day 26....

 

Love is responsible.....

Day 24...... Identify the objects of lust from your life and remove them.

I have always thought lust strictly meant lusting after another man/woman when you have already given your heart to someone else. BUT in reading this chapter from the Love Dare, I have found that lust can also be when you lust after a character in a novel or the leading man in your favorite romantic movie!!!

Now, lets be honest, who hasn't watch a movie with some studly man with rippling abs and NOT said "WOW!! he's a hottie tottie!!"

To me if your HUMAN, you have been in this boat before!

I KNOW I AM NOT ALONE!!!!

But, with this being said, I have learned that this too is being lustful! Even though I know that I will never in a million years run away with Mark Wahlberg, I now see that watching his movies with my tounge hanging out is unacceptable to the Lord!

Being lustful can also mean, lusting for more money, a bigger house or better clothes. The Lord has promised us the essentials -food, clothing- (Matthew 6:25-33) so why would we doubt this promise and be lustful of more? 

"His divine power has given us everything we need for a godly life through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness. Through these he has given us his very great and precious promises, so that through them you may participate in the divine nature, having escaped the corruption in the world caused by evil desires."

When we finally come to our senses and open our hearts to the Lord and are grateful for what he has already given us we will find ourselves full on what he provides and we will stop lusting after forbidden treasures.

To me you cant complete this dare in one day! It's an ongoing dare!! DARE to be grateful for what you have, DARE to love your spouse with your whole heart and DARE to follow the LORD!!! 

I dare MYSELF to put my words into action!!!

Moving on to day 25...

Happy Wednesday to you all!!!

Day 23 asked me to let go of addictions or anything hindering my relationship with G.

Luckily G and I don't have any BIG addictions that are hindering our relationship, i.e.gambling or drugs. But what we do have is a great addiction to the modern day entertainment, like....television, FACEBOOK and video games. 

If used correctly or in a healthy amount these things can be enjoyable, like cuddling up on the couch with your hunnie to watch a great movie together.

BUT if your sitting across the room from one another, one playing on FB and the other playing video games, this isn't what I would like to call QUALITY TIME.

Now I am one to admit, while I'm snug-as-a-bug in my Mr.'s arms enjoying a television show/movie, I might be on my phone checking FB!!!!

So...I have decided that when I'm spending quality time with the hubs, that's the ONLY thing I'm going to be doing!!! I mean REALLY, how many times can I check the latest news feed on dang facebook??? And I love my friends who share this internet addiction with me BUT I have to say, the hubs is WAY more important and should be!!!

 Day 22.... Choose today to be committed to your love even if your spouse has lost most interest in receiving it. 

 At the beginning of mine and G's marriage, I had this misconception that marriage was made of lemon drops and worked something like the fairy tales I watched growing up. -FYI...I am a HUGE romantic movie watcher- So when I found out that men -mine in particular- didn't know how to read my mind or didn't know the perfect thing to say at the exact moment I THOUGHT he should, I WAS BLOWN AWAY!!! Which needless to say, caused many disagreements, sometimes hurtful words and a lot of misunderstanding.

As you can probably understand, I had A LOT of growing, praying and motherly advise to listen to. -Who knew I was missing the ONE thing that gave me the understanding of how to truly love-
So in reading this particular chapter in the Love Dare, I have learned that God loves us no matter what we do, no matter how we act. He is always accepting of us.The Lord still remains faithful  to us. This, to me, is how we should love our spouse, faithfully. We should accept our spouse and our spouse's love just as he/she gives it, because the love that each of us express is the mere reflection of the Lord's love shining through.

I have learned to appreciate the way G loves me with all his heart, IN HIS OWN WAY!!! But most of all I have learned that love is no fairy tale and that we choose who we want to share our lives with. And my friends I CHOOSE, forevermore to love my handsome husband, Greg.

So in honor of this lovely dare I simply expressed why I CHOOSE to love my MR.
-He officially named it the Easter egg hut :)-
 
I placed one in his current book. 

  He found the next one on his night stand.

 This one was in his phone clip. 

SURPRISE in his undies :))

He couldn't miss the one with the toothpaste.

In his closet!!

The refrigerator.

 Sneaky, sneaky...in his truck.

 And FINALLY in his work binder!!

It was lots of fun surprising my sweet hunnie and to see hie face each time he found a note was priceless.

Remove anything that is hindering your relationship, and addiction of influence that's stealing your affections and turning your heart away from your spouse. 

I am actually truly excited about today's dare because I for one do not believe in the whole mumbojumbo about having just "one certain" person made just for "me". I believe we honestly CHOOSE who we wish to love and then it is our duty along with the help of the Lord to continue that love "till death do us part."

Leaving you with some inspiring words...